Resurrection of the Daleks

And a good afternoon to you, faithful viewer! Thanks so much for joining me today (especially since you’ve had to tear yourself away from the new Avengers movie to do so), because we’ve got a doozy of a serial this time. Truly innovative sci-fi which will make us question the very foundations of our society, yes!

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Just kidding. It’s just another story that asks the question: What else can the Daleks do to come across as massive intergalactic nuisances. Still, should be a good time, eh?

This one definitely starts off with a bang, in any case. As an American, I understand that police shootouts are quite rare on London streets, but that’s exactly what happens within the first two minutes of the first episode. Fortunately, this shootout didn’t actually involve any police (which I believe would’ve been grounds for one hell of a tribunal). Instead of any human police, the shootout involved a pair of warring alien factions, duking it out over possession of a very valuable POW: Davros. In the middle of this action, the Doctor gets pulled to twentieth-century London via a Time Corridor created by the Daleks. All of time and space to choose from, and we always seem to end up in modern-day England. Ho-hum. Evidently, Davros has plans for the Doctor, and none of them are remotely cuddly. Using advanced cloning technology, Davros plans to create copies of the Doctor and his companions and then assassinate the High Council of Gallifrey–the fiend! With so much at stake, the Doctor is pitted against his oldest nemeses, the Daleks, once again.

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I’ll talk about the serial itself in a second, but first I’d like to address the weirdness of the episode format in this story. Due to an important sportsball event happening at the time (okay, it was the 1984 Olympics), the traditional 4-part 25-minute episode format was scrapped in favor of a 2-part 45-minute episode deal when it was broadcast. In the years that followed, the serial was reconstructed in the traditional format. I wanted to watch the 2-parter, but unfortunately I couldn’t find it in time to post this recap. I wish I had–I think the longer-episode format might have been easier to follow.

Getting into the story itself, I have to say that the direction this time was some next-level stuff. It was Matthew Robinson behind the camera this time, and as a result, we had beautifully moody tracking shots and an epic sense of depth and scope to the whole thing. Tired story or not, it sure was fun to watch.

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Plot-wise, as I say, it was all a bit piecemeal. I don’t think it was ever explained why Davros wanted to go to 20th century London, and I can’t think of a good reason why he would, other than “it was the cheapest option, filming-wise.” And overall, the whole thing just felt like an excuse to get the Doctor and Davros to fight. Which I guess is the point of the story anyway, but I’d like it better if it wasn’t quite so obvious.

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As far as characters go, we did have a couple of standouts. First, a professor called Laird, who was a rarity among female minor characters in that she had actual constructive dialogue with other characters, rather than being reduced to repeating plotlines, screaming at monsters, and being consoled by everyone. As it was, I wish she’d been given more screentime–she was the most engaging lady we’ve had on the show since Romana.

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And the other standout was a man called Stein. At first glance, he’s a sweet, if slightly cowardly, victim of the Dalek invaders. As the story unfolds and we find out how deeply the Daleks messed up this man, Stein magically transforms into one of the most tragic characters we’ve had on the show for quite some time. I won’t go too deeply into details, but I do think that turning Stein into a 21st-century-style Dalek puppet might have been a kinder fate than the one he met in this story.

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Speaking of Dalek puppets: the Daleks’ newest method of enslaving sentient beings rears its ugly eyestalk in this serial. We’ve seen this sort of thing before (remember the Robo-Men in “The Dalek Invasion of Earth”) and we’ll see it again (the grotesque Dalek puppets in “Asylum of the Daleks”). In this serial, we get to see what I think is the missing link between the two methods. It’s kind of cool, in a perverse way, to watch the Daleks’ evilness flourish like a disgusting blossom. But of course, it’s even cooler to watch the Doctor and his companions take them down time and time again.

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Unfortunately, it looks like this serial will be the last to include Tegan as a companion–for real this time. She’s had enough of the fighting and killing that seems to follow the Doctor wherever he goes, and I can’t honestly say I blame her for calling it quits. She lost her aunt and nearly her cousin’s best friend, she saw Adric die and got creeped on by Turlough (you know, back when he was evil), she saw everyone die in “Warriors of the Deep,” and nearly got sacrificed in “The Awakening.” That’s a lot for anyone to take, even Brave-Heart-Tegan.

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But she’s home and safe now, and the Doctor’s gone on without her. So, farewell to Tegan Jovanka. She wasn’t everyone’s favorite, but she was always indelibly herself.

Stay tuned ’til next time, faithful viewer, when we meet a new companion, battle an old enemy, and finally find out what the heck is up with Turlough…

Frontios

Afternoon, faithful viewer! Thanks for joining me again today, because we’re going to be reviewing an essentially stupid Doctor Who serial with a very complicated message. Yes, you read that right. I’ll be getting into why this serial is stupid later on in this recap, but as a premise, I’ll say that this story also calls into question the Time Lords’ infamous non-interference policy. The Time Lords know pretty much everything there is to know about the Universe and its inhabitants…and yet, the cornerstone of their society is their adamant stance against helping out any civilizations in need and not battling any creatures that don’t attack them personally. It’s this policy that makes the Doctor a rebel against his home planet (and that means that we have a show to watch on Saturday afternoons). And it’s this policy that makes the conflict in this serial as meaty as it is.

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Well, meaty might be too strong a word. Frankly, it comes across more like tofu than anything else.

The action takes place on a planet called Frontios. A struggling colony of humaniods is on its last legs, because the planet itself appears to be eating the colonists. No one can figure out what’s happening, and when the Doctor lands on the planet, his TARDIS gets eaten as well. Since the TARDIS is pretty much the only thing he owns in the entire world, the Doctor resolves to help the colonists, despite the protests of the colony’s leader, the officious and irritating Plantagenet. It turns out that the cause of the problems were Tractators and Gravis, huge insects that love to make life complicated for the humanoids. In an effort to recover his TARDIS and save the colonists from being eaten, the Doctor flouts the cardinal rule of the Time Lords: to never, ever interfere with other civilizations.

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Why the Doctor regards that as a big deal now, when he’s been doing the same thing for twenty-odd years now, I’m not exactly certain. But never mind.

The Tractators, faithful viewer, are completely, appallingly, dizzyingly stupid. Not only that, but the fact that the entire story revolves around them makes this serial into a B-movie slice of ridiculousness the likes of which I’ve scarcely seen before. There’s a reason why RKO never commissioned “Attack of the Giant Potato Bugs,” and the BBC would’ve done well to follow their example. All I can think is that Christopher H. Bidmead (who wrote this story) must’ve been having problems with wood lice in his house and just had to express his struggles creatively through the medium of television.

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As far as human characters were concerned…eh, I guess they were alright. Plantagenet was sort of interesting, in a brattier-than-Wesley-Crusher-on-his-period sort of way. Brazen, a soldier who looked like Roger Daltrey in fatigues, was bull-headed and unexpectedly brave. And Norna, a scientist, was singularly awesome, and I’m pretty sure that she and Turlough hit it off, believe it or not. Watching Turlough banter with her was as close as I’ve seen him come so far to actual, normal human behavior. I’m still a little bitter he didn’t invite her into the TARDIS. Oh well.

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And now, here’s the most interesting part of this serial: The Time Lords and their non-interference policy. I’ve said in the past, faithful viewer, that having to power to stop bad things from happening and choosing not to is just as bad as doing bad things. For that reason, I’ve always held the Time Lords in contempt, but now I’m not so sure. The Time Lords do have an incredible advantage over every other civilization in the Universe, because they know so much and are capable of much more than practically any other race. They obviously don’t want to take the chance that their power will be used for evil–and let’s face it, with the amount of megalomaniacal nut-jobs Gallifreyan society produces, I can’t blame them for being paranoid. However…it’s still rotten that bad stuff happens in the world, and the Time Lords can prevent at least 99% of it, but choose not to (unless it suits them). I’m not sure what the solution is to the problem…but hopefully, someone will think of one sometime.

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As lame as this serial is, at least it ended on a decent cliffhanger. Having retrieved the TARDIS, defeated the Tractators, and saved Frontios, the Doctor and companions take off across the Universe once again…or they begin to, before they’re pulled inexplicably toward the center of the Universe. What’s going on here?

Stay tuned ’til next time, faithful viewer, where we have a tense encounter with an old alien menace…

The Awakening

Hello hello again, faithful viewer. Thanks for joining me today–we’ll be venturing into a very strange world this time…the world of historical re-enactment. It takes a very unique soul to pursue historical re-enactment; I believe a similar quirk of personality attracts people to LARPing and certain sales positions. A dedication to the past, an admiration for theatricality, and a healthy amount of contempt for the mundane aspects of reality are the elements that bring a person into historical re-enactment–and indeed, what motivate me to carry on with this blog. But what happens when a game of pretend goes too far, and a moment in history becomes invaded by aliens? That’s what this story’s all about, faithful viewer–let’s dive right in!

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We start off in a small English village, which is in the middle of (you guessed it) a historical re-enactment of a pivotal battle in the English Civil War. A school-teacher named Jane Hampden is worried that the re-enactors (almost all of whom are men in positions of power in the village) might be taking things too far. Her worries aren’t exactly unfounded, since the re-enactors have a tendency to put others in danger for the sake of historical accuracy. That’s the point at which the Doctor arrives–at Tegan’s request, since her grandfather lives in the village and she wants to pay him a visit. And, as it usually happens when the Doctor comes to call, that’s when the really weird stuff starts happening. A 17th-century peasant turns up out of thin air, Tegan is captured by the re-enactment nutters and is set up to be sacrificed as Queen of the May. And by no means least of all, a massive alien face appears in the village church, very apparently up to no good.

Photo credit, tardis.wikia.com

Something tells me the villages should’ve gone for a nice game of D&D instead.

My hope, when I started watching this serial, was that it would at least be better than the Kate Chopin novel I read in 11th grade that shares its name. Granted, I was pretty sure the task wouldn’t be a difficult one. Now that I’ve seen it, I can say with authority that the serial was better than the book, but just barely. Here’s everything that’s wrong with this latest slice of classic Doctor Who:

The inaccuracies with pagan traditions made me grind my teeth (May Queens were NOT sacrificed, for goodness’ sake–British pagans were matriarchal!), and while it looked surprisingly good, the giant alien face I mentioned really didn’t seem to have much of a point to it. It’s technically called the Malus, and it apparently feeds off bad energy and is some kind of manifestation of pure evil. Forgive me for being pedantic, but the only true concentrated form of evil in this Universe is the Mara. The world ain’t big enough for the both of ’em–the writers seriously need to come up with a new gimmick.

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By far, the most engaging thing about this story was the village men in charge of the re-enactment. And “engaging” is a word which here means “so infuriating that I can’t help but watch raptly as the disaster unfolds.” The village men are in a very tricky position socially, because not only are they all obviously thirteen-year-olds trapped in grown-up bodies, but they’re also fundamentally stupid while retaining the belief that they’re better than everyone else because they’re Englishmen. The Fourth Doctor once had a great line about the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain, and the village men (with the exception of Tegan’s granddad, who was actually a pretty stand-up guy) were perfect examples of that ratio. It’s only lucky they just got involved with an alien invasion–with a village that full of idiots, they could’ve started World War Three.

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As I turn on my telly to watch the next serial, my only hope is that there are more smart people present in the cast, and less historical nut-jobs. Honestly.

Stay tuned ’til next time, faithful viewer, when the Doctor attempts to save a space colony from attack by vicious alien insects…

Warriors of the Deep

Well, here we are again, faithful viewer. We’re on the other side of the twentieth anniversary, and it looks like it’s business as usual once again. That is, as usual as business ever is on Doctor Who. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

In the year 2084, a new Cold War has apparently sprung up between the UK and another unnamed superpower. Most of the action takes place in the depths of the ocean, as submarines armed to the teeth with nuclear weaponry pass silently through the cold black water. At the moment when the Doctor lands the TARDIS on a British deep-sea base, the British forces are preparing to open fire on an unidentified–and therefore obviously hostile–vessel. In an incredible stroke of bad luck, it turns out that the vessel in question is a Silurian ship. “Bad news” doesn’t begin to cover it. The Silurians are on a mission to revive their aquatic cousins (annoyingly dubbed “Sea Devils” by the official canon), and they’re armed with a deadly Myrka and enough firepower to turn the British Isles into another Atlantis. Now that he’s arrived on the scene, the Doctor must stop the humans and Silurians from destroying each other.

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Again.

I must say, faithful viewer, these kinds of stories really depress me. I don’t enjoy watching otherwise sane and reasonable beings turn into genocidal maniacs when faced with a hitherto-unknown sentient race. And the humans are pretty bad as well. Seeing as how it was not yet the 21st century when this serial premiered and Chris Chibnall was not yet available to add a humane touch to the Silurians, they all come across like a bunch of uncivilized brutes. To be fair to them, however, we humans don’t exactly do much to endear ourselves to other races. You can only watch a primate and a reptile butt heads for so long before you start to gently weep for the future of sentient life.

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Also, it still bothers me that Sea Devils are referred to as Sea Devils–even by actual Sea Devils! Not only is it a stupid name, but come on–it’s not sci-fi at all. It’s embarrassing.

And as for the Myrka I mentioned before…oh dear. The creature–resembling Godzilla’s dimmer, aquatic cousin–was clearly supposed to be intimidating muscle and a massive ace in the hole for the Silurians. Unfortunately, it just ended up looking like something else that belonged in a hole. Not for nothing is this story known as “Warriors on the Cheap.” Utterly disgraceful.

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Very disappointing. Not quite as bad as the Nimon, but only not quite. And it’s all Margaret Thatcher’s fault. No, seriously, faithful viewer. The former PM decided to push the airdate of this serial earlier, in order to allow the intended time-slot to be used for an uber-important telecast. With the result that the Myrka didn’t get slicked up as much as the production team wanted, and ended up looking like it belonged in 1973 with the rest of its “Invasion of the Dinosaurs” cohorts. And, all the 80s Whovians had yet another reason to hate Maggie Thatcher.

One last thing I’d like to talk about, faithful viewer, before I shift off: Turlough. He’s an odd one, for sure. Now that he’s free of his contract with the Black Guardian, he’s presumably free to be himself aboard the TARDIS. After watching him in action for this four-episode serial, I am no more enlightened about who he is than I was before. I one scene, he is quick to leave his companions behind to save his own skin, and in another, he goes out of his way to save someone else’s life. He’s still shrewd and calculating, and I still get the impression that he’s always looking for the right angle–a way to use all this time-travel magic to his advantage. I’m still not sure if I like him–or if I even trust him at all–but I can’t deny that he’s a very compelling character.

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Well, at any rate, faithful viewer, this one was dark and sad. The Doctor managed to prevent a nuclear war between the humans and the Silurians, but nearly every minor character died–including Sauvix, who you might remember from the old “Sea Devils” story back in the 70s. It was a diplomatic shambles that gives you an idea why the Doctor is such a staunch pacifist in the new series.

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I can only hope–for the Doctor’s sake–that the next serial has a lower body count.

Stay tuned ’til next time, faithful viewer, when a historical re-enactment goes awry and a massive alien face causes trouble in the English countryside…

The Five Doctors

Faithful viewer, I can’t thank you enough for joining me today. Here it is at last–the 20th anniversary special of Doctor Who! Originally broadcast in 1983, it’s the culmination of two decades’ worth of fandom fun. Five Doctors, ten companions, a zillion villains, and one sinister plot, all to celebrate the greatest show ever to grace the small box. Let’s jump right in, shall we?

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This one kicks right off with a sinister plot. The Fifth Doctor, on holiday on the Eye of Orion with Tegan and Turlough, has a sudden attack of cosmic angst. The reason why soon becomes clear: An unknown Time Lord wearing black leather gloves has begun kidnapping the Doctor’s various incarnations. They are being ripped from their time streams and deposited in the Gallifreyan Death Zone. The Zone, which used to be the site of a deadly game in which Time Lords would pit various species against others for entertainment, is highly perilous, and the intent of the mysterious villainous Time Lord is clear. Whoever it is, they intend to use the Five Doctors to clear away the various traps and challenges around the Tomb of Rassilon, so that they can get to the Tomb and steal the Ring, which the grants the wearer eternal life. An ingenious plan, but this villain made one grave error: No matter how much the Doctor may bicker with his other selves, each of them are committed to doing right and to their own freedom, and so they will pull together to stop this villain and get back to their own times.

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To be perfectly honest, faithful viewer, the plot on this baby ain’t that great. It’s fluffy and clumsy (and there’s really no proper reason why a Time Lord would be interested in a talisman that grants eternal life–they live long enough as it is), but to be even more honest, I don’t really care. It’s just so completely wonderful to see so many lovable old faces on my screen again. Granted, William Hartnell and Tom Baker didn’t take part (Tom due to unfortunate lack of interest, William due to unfortunate deadness), but seeing everyone else was an utter delight. And it was just as nice watching them all squabble with each other. I’m a sucker for witty repartee, as you know, but there’s nothing quite like watching an incredibly intelligent man argue…with himself.

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Although frankly, I have to take issue with Three’s habit of calling Two shabby. It’s a bit rich coming from Worzel Gummidge, know what I mean?

And we didn’t just see old Doctors, either. We also had appearances from Susan, the Brigadier, Sarah Jane, Mike Yates, Liz, Jamie, and Zoe. On this show, the companions form just as much of the personality of the adventure as the Doctor does, and seeing so many familiar faces really took me back to earlier days in this experiment, back to when the show was black and white, back to when it didn’t move, and back to when color first bloomed on our screens. If that’s all an anniversary show manages to accomplish, then I consider it a success.

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On a similar line to companion cameos, there’s an interesting continuity error that I’d like to talk about. When we see Jamie and Zoe in this serial, they’re not actually real–merely projections designed to confuse and unnerve the Doctor. And the Doctor nearly fell for it, too, until he remembered that the pair of them had had their memories wiped by the Time Lords and wouldn’t have a clue who he was. This wouldn’t be a problem, except it was the Second Doctor involved in this whole thing, and the mind-wipes happened just before he regenerated into the Third Doctor. Oops.

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But, the interesting thing about this continuity error is that it brings Season 6B into play. Season 6B, if you don’t yet know, is a series of comics (originally published in TV Comic magazine) that depict what may have happened between Part 10 of “The War Games” and Part 1 of “Spearhead from Space.” TV Comic had been publishing DW comic strips since 1964 at the time when “The War Games” wrapped up. The gap between “War Games” and “Spearhead” was exceptionally long, and TV Comic didn’t want to stop running their Doctor Who strip in the interim, so they carried on producing new stories under the theory that the Doctor didn’t immediately regenerate upon being exiled from Gallifrey, but instead had a few adventures on Earth before finally being forced to turn into Jon Pertwee. Although 6B is widely regarded as fanon and not true canon, this gaffe by Patrick Troughton (or writer Terrance Dicks, if we want to be technical about it) seems to possibly allow 6B a bit of room in the new series. Maybe?

At this point, faithful viewer, I’m honestly thoroughly confused, so let’s move on, shall we?

Despite the overall fluffiness of the plot on this one, there were some moments that were genuinely aces. While most of the alien menaces the Doctors faced in this serial were repeats from the past (Cybermen, Yeti, etc.), a new baddie showed up in the form of the Raston Warrior Robot that battled Sarah Jane and the Third Doctor. Lightning-fast and incredibly deadly, the Raston Robot is everything the Cybermen wish they were.

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Also on the good side of the scale, we got another complicated and brilliant performance from Borusa, Lord President on Gallifrey. I’ve always liked Borusa because of his Machiavellian approach to reality, but this might be his finest (and darkest) hour. And there was a very cool encounter with Rassilon (yes, THAT Rassilon) towards the end. Despite his resemblance to the genie in Aladdin (and non-resemblance to James Bond in a silly hat), it’s pretty cool from a lore standpoint to finally have an encounter with the great Rassilon.

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On the not-so-great side of the scale, I have to say: The Master shouldn’t have been in the story. Yes, he’s a classic villain and yes, he’s had a great amount of history with the Doctor (and the amount is the only thing that’s great about their history), but we just saw him last time. It was too soon to bring him back again. They should have either given the Master a miss (maybe brought in the Daleks instead–we haven’t seen them since Tom Baker was the Doctor) or had the Zygons instead of him in “The King’s Demons.” They’re shape-shifters, it could’ve worked.

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In addition, I was extremely disappointed that Tom Baker didn’t take part–he’s still my favorite after all, and I miss him terribly–but never mind. I also thought that the other Doctors (Three and Two in particular) stole the show away from Peter. Yes, they’re the bearers of history and they’re the reason we all watched this serial, but Peter’s still the current Doctor! He should have been given his head a little.

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But…there you have it, faithful viewer. The twentieth anniversary of Doctor bloody Who. The greatest show in the world on its twentieth birthday. And just think: not even two years ago, we all gathered ’round our tellies and watched the fiftieth anniversary special. I would say it’s amazing that the show’s held out for so long, but come on. Whether it’s innovative or boring, infuriating or delightful, Doctor Who is still the best idea that anyone’s ever had. And I have no doubt that we’ll all still be tuning in to watch it for decades to come.

Stay tuned ’til next time, faithful viewer, when we travel under the sea to do battle with terrifying aquatic creatures…

The King’s Demons

Afternoon, faithful viewer! It’s your own prancin’ dancin’ Chance here, and I’m so pleased that you could join me today. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

From time to time, I miss the old historical episodes that we used to get on this show. Things like “The Aztecs” and “The Highlanders,” period pieces that don’t have any aliens in them at all. Of course, those don’t always turn out very well (the most recent “Black Orchid” springs to mind), and in general, I tend to think that a bit of sci-fi madness always does a story a power of good.

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Whether that’s true in the case of this story, I’m not sure.

When the Doctor and companions land on Earth this time, it’s in early-13th century England. John the Worst First is on the throne, and he’s in the middle of negotiations to sign the Magna Carta. When we see him, however, he’s far more interested in the ongoing crusades and traveling about the countryside, extracting taxes from his constituents. At the moment the Doctor shows up, he sees the King making an ass of himself in front of Sir Fitzwilliam and his family. This in itself is problematic; what’s even more troubling is the fact that at that moment in time, John I was supposed to be in London taking the Crusader’s Oath. The Doctor concludes that the King is not the King after all, but an extremely convincing imposter. But who in the galaxy could or would go to the trouble of impersonating the ruler of Britain at such a crucial moment in history?

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Faithful viewer, I’ll spare you the suspense: It was the Master. Once again, the Master has been mucking about with human history, purely for the sake of annoying the Doctor. And as usual, the Doctor has to step in and clean up the Master’s mess.

Photo credit, http://www.bbc.co.uk

Whenever I find myself watching a story with the Master in it (as I too often do), I ask myself: Is this the lamest plot he’s ever come up with? In the case of this story, survey says yes. The whole goal of the plot was to get John I ousted from his throne, thus stopping him from signing the Magna Carta, and really…big whoop. As history shows, John I didn’t follow the rules of the Magna Carta anyway, and the document was ignored and annulled for the first year of its existence. It didn’t gain any real clout until 1297, when it was over 80 years old. Allow me to show off my research skills. I doubt the Master could have made life any harder than humans were already making it. It was just chaos for its own sake, and it honestly didn’t seem like the Master’s heart was in it at all.

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The only thing of real significance in this serial was the introduction of a new companion–though I use the term very loosely. In order to put his plan into motion, the Master had to have a perfect replica of John I to carry out his foul business. He accomplished this with the use of a robot called Kamelion, which can shape-shift to perfectly mimic any living being. Once the Doctor defeated the Master, he decided to take Kamelion on to the TARDIS, to study its workings more closely.

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Kamelion, when not being controlled by the Master, has an adorable personality, as all good robots do. However, I know from my notes that we won’t be seeing much more of him in the future. Kamelion was constructed by Richard Gregory and Mike Power, and it was on the strength of their work that John Nathan-Turner decided to include Kamelion in the show. Unfortunately, Power passed away after filming this episode, and nobody else could figure out how to work the Kamelion prototype, with the result that we’ll only see the adorable automaton occasionally over the next few episodes.

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Well, this story was a poor follow-up to last time’s great adventure. But we’ve got more excitement on the way, faithful viewer. Next time, we’ll be talking about the 20th Anniversary Special! That’s right, we’ve made it all the way to 1983, and it’s time for the Big 2-0 Extravaganza! See you next time!

Stay tuned ’til next time, faithful viewer, when we celebrate 20 years of Doctor Who fun with some big adventures on Gallifrey and beyond…

Enlightenment

“When you know that all is light, you are enlightened.”

~My teabag this morning

There’s been a sneaky little suspicion lurking in my mind for some time, faithful viewer. It’s been bugging me ever since we got into 1980s Doctor Who, and with each passing episode, I’m starting to believe it might be true. Under the leadership of our new producer, John Nathan-Turner, it seems that our show is showing off less and less innovation than ever before. The special effects aren’t getting any better (when we know for a fact that technology was improving by the year), and the scripts have stopped pushing any envelopes at all. What I think is happening is that Doctor Who in the 80s was treated like a throwback show. It had become famous for cheesy effects and cheesier dialogue, and any magic that might have started happening despite limitations was thrown by the wayside. It’s a low come-down for any show, faithful viewer, especially this one. And it’s been a trend I’ve noticed for quite some time now. Bearing that in mind, I did not have high expectations for this serial at all.

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Boy, was I wrong.

As this story starts, the Black Guardian is still breathing down Turlough’s neck to kill the Doctor and fulfill the terms of his contract. Whose neck the Black Guardian’s raven is breathing down is anyone’s guess. As Turlough tries to marshal his murderous impulses, the Doctor lands the TARDIS on what appears to be an Edwardian racing yacht in the midst of a regatta. It quickly becomes apparent, however, that the reality is way cooler. Faithful viewer, check this out: The Doctor has landed on a simulation of an Edwardian racing yacht…IN SPACE.

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Not only in space, but outside of time itself. Crewed by a mix of shanghaied humans and timeless beings called Eternals, the scene we’re presented with is almost dizzyingly awesome. Fiona Cumming as director and Barbara Clegg as writer, faithful viewer. What a team! The box is small, the vibe is large.

Photo credit, en.wikipedia.org

All is not well at sea, however. Captain Wrack, one of the Eternals, is trying some foul play in order to win the race. (Wrack, by the way, is played by Lynda Baron–you’ll remember her from “The Gunfighters” back in ’66). Meanwhile, Turlough’s dangerously close to going off the deep end. The White Guardian has been showing his benevolent face in the space outside time, and it seems like tensions between the two Guardians of Time are about to come to a birdhead.

Photo credit, tardis.wikia.com

I can say without any reservations at all that this is the best serial we’ve had for a very long time. I don’t think I’ve been thrilled so deeply by classic Who since “Kinda,” actually. With the sheer imagination, breathtaking effects, and high-stakes conflict on display here, this is one story that makes me proud to be a Whovian. No wonder this thing’s been alive for fifty years–Doctor Who rocks!

Photo credit, tardistavern.libsyn.com

Even the subplots were properly covered. Tegan spent most of this serial being romanced by an Eternal called Marriner. I don’t think Tegan’s been courted by a native before (the Mara definitely does not count), so I guess she’s been properly initiated as a Companion at last. As for Marriner…he was an odd one for sure. He definitely showed off some Edward Cullen levels of creepiness, but at the same time, there was an intriguing sweetness…wait, what am I saying? Do I fancy an Eternal?

Photo credit, talesfromthekryptonian.blogspot.com

…Yikes.

Moving on! The real excitement in this serial happened at the end, when the two Guardians finally went toe-to-toe for the fate of the Universe. I’m not sure who made the decision that they should both have birds on their heads, but I don’t suppose that’s important right now. What’s important is that, at long last, Turlough severed ties with the Black Guardian and won Enlightenment. Enlightenment, by the way, was the prize the White Guardian was offering to whoever won the regatta. Though the Eternals believed that Enlightenment was a priceless diamond, the White Guardian explained that Enlightenment was, in reality, the choice to do right.

Photo credit, http://www.bbc.co.uk

And with that, faithful viewer, I leave you. Until next time, be awesome as you always are. Allons-y!

Stay tuned ’til next time, faithful viewer, when we travel back to the Crusades and see what trouble John I has got himself into this time…

Terminus

So, things are getting dicey here on Doctor Who, faithful viewer. We’ve now got a companion in the TARDIS who is conspiring to kill the Doctor on the orders of the Black Guardian. Tensions on the TARDIS haven’t been this high since Ian, Barbara, and Susan all thought they were going to kill each other in “The Edge of Destruction.” It seems almost incredible that we’re still going to have an adventure with that being the state of things, and yet here we are, duking it out with alien civilizations once again. This show doesn’t do things by halves, does it?

Photo credit, en.wikipedia.org

While our new companion Turlough pokes around the TARDIS, The Doctor lands on what appears to be an abandoned spaceship. Of course, since this is Doctor Who, it’s actually not abandoned; in fact, it’s full of people suffering from Lazars disease (think leprosy times a zillion), and it’s on its way to a place called Terminus. Allegedly, a cure for Lazars disease exists there, but no one has ever come back from Terminus alive. With the unlikely help of two pirates, the Doctor has to save his companions from the deadly disease, stop the corruption in Terminus Inc. that is killing so many people…oh yeah, and also stop the ship from blowing up the Universe.

Photo credit, november32nd.blog.fc2.com

It’s very rare that we deal with drug addiction on this show, faithful viewer. Incest, murder, and torture, yes, but drugs are far too icky. The last drugs-based story we had was “Nightmare of Eden,” with Tom Baker in the TARDIS. The main difference between this story and “Nightmare” is that “Nightmare” dealt more with black-market trade of drugs, while this one seems more interested in the corruption that can lie in big pharmaceutical companies. Unfortunately, this one doesn’t handle the concept quite as maturely (or present it quite as compellingly) as “Nightmare.” The trouble is that there’s so much stuff going on in this one: incurable disease, running from lepers, squabbling pirates, weird dog-headed aliens, traitorous companions…A slightly narrower focus would’ve really set this story straight, I think.

Photo credit, them0vieblog.com

In fact, this whole story seemed pretty sloppy in general. The Lazars didn’t look nearly yucky enough to justify the fear and disgust the other characters showed them. The Garm, a dog-headed alien that showed up to help toward the end, looked frankly stupid (and was pretty much unintelligible when it spoke). I will say, however, that the sets looked awesome. Very grungy and industrial, but with a bit of futuristic creepiness that really brought the whole thing together.

Photo credit, shillpages.com

Far more interesting that the presented plot was the dynamics between the companions. This was Turlough’s first adventure in the TARDIS, and I have to say he’s a pretty tricky customer. His motives are lousy (killing the Doctor is about as low as you can get on this show), and he behaves like a gaslighting slime to Nyssa and especially Tegan. I just can’t work out why he’s signed a contract with the Black Guardian in the first place. What’s in it for him, besides allowing the Black Guardian to come back in time for the twentieth anniversary special? And if he’s all about killing the Doctor, why does he help the Doctor, Nyssa, and Tegan when they find themselves in mortal peril? It just doesn’t make sense…at least, not yet.

Photo credit, stuartreviewsstuff.wordpress.com

Speaking of Nyssa, it looks like Adric’s old friend has decided to leave the TARDIS at last. You could see it about to happen, faithful viewer: she was invested in Terminus’ problems from the get-go in this serial. After the Doctor sorted out everything that was wrong with Terminus, Nyssa developed a cure for the Lazars and stayed behind to nurse them all back to health. It’s rare that Nyssa is given a time to shine on this show–curing a deadly disease is definitely up her street–and it’s too bad that it came at the end of her time on the show.

Photo credit, dw4n.com

As kind as the plot was to Nyssa in this story, however, I feel duty-bound to talk about the lameness that befell her this time as well. On the one hand, she was given a crusade and actual things to actually do, which is rare. On the other hand, she did a lot of unnecessary screaming and kept taking her clothes off for no readily apparent reason. I’m more than a little disappointed in Mary Ridge (director) for thinking that was a good idea, I must say.

Photo credit, imgarcade.com

But now Nyssa has departed for greater adventures, and the Doctor is left traveling with Tegan…and a young man who plans to kill him. How, faithful viewer, is this going to pan out?

Stay tuned ’til next time, faithful viewer, when we journey outside of time to the greatest regatta in the galaxy…

Mawdryn Undead

Good morning, faithful viewer! I’m so glad you joined me today, because we are about to embark on a very cool story. One quick question before we start, to give you a hint about which old familiar face is appearing in this episode: According to Doctor Who, what do soldiers do when they retire?

At the very start of this serial, the TARDIS gets caught in a warp ellipse clear out of nowhere. The ellipse, caused by a starliner trapped in time, is the result of someone trying to capture either the TARDIS or the Doctor. Either way, it’s bad news, and the Doctor winds up abandoned–with no companions and no TARDIS–smack in the middle of the 1980s. While that might sound like dire straits to some, it was actually the best thing that could have happened to the Doctor. With no idea what to do or how to get back to his TARDIS, the Doctor decides to consult the math professor at a local public school…who turns out to be none other than Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart, retired!

Photo credit, http://www.avclub.com

Strangely, the Brig doesn’t remember the Doctor at all–and not just because he doesn’t recognize the Doctor’s new face. Amnesia or not, however, the Brig is still as clever and brave as he ever was, and he’s exactly who the Doctor needs to help get back to his TARDIS and find out who’s trying to steal it and why.

Photo credit, stuartreviewsstuff.wordpress.com

In case you haven’t worked out the riddle at the start of this recap, faithful viewer, here’s the answer: According to Doctor Who, retired soldiers teach math. If it was good enough for the Brig, it was good enough for Danny Pink, I guess. And can I just say: I’m so happy to see the Brig again, I can’t even believe it. No matter how dull it got in Jon Pertwee’s time, with all the sitting around at UNIT HQ and no traveling in the TARDIS at all, I never minded it very much when the Brig was around. He’s shaved off his infamous mustache since his retirement, but he’s still a handsome devil, and still brave, calm under pressure, and still (regrettably) paternally chauvinistic. And in meeting up with the Brigadier, we also get to find out what happened to some of our old UNIT chums: namely, John Benton and Harry Sullivan. For the record, Benton’s a used-car salesman now, and Sully is doing top-secret government ops. It’s strange to think that it was about ten years’ worth of episodes ago that we were hanging out with the likes of Benton and Sully and even poor Mike Yates in every single episode. And now, they’re just distant memories…funny how time goes.

Photo credit, http://www.bbc.co.uk

On a more scientific side of things, I feel that it’s worth mentioning that a key plot point used in this episode was a principle known as the Blinovitch Limitation Effect. If you have trouble remembering technical names (and frankly, the BLE is quite a mouthful in itself), it’s the principle that states that a person cannot come into contact with his/her past or future selves without causing a cataclysmic burst of energy. First mentioned by the Third Doctor in “Day of the Daleks,” used to heartbreaking effect by the Ninth Doctor in “Father’s Day” (and utterly ignored by the Eleventh Doctor in “A Christmas Carol”), it proves extremely useful in this serial, and is in fact the key to unraveling the Brigadier’s unexpected amnesia.

Photo credit, http://www.combom.co.uk

Before I sign off, I must talk about something rather unpleasant. I mentioned before that this serial marks the return of an old companion–most likely in celebration of the twentieth anniversary coming up–but this serial also marks the return of an old enemy, one that I never expected to see on the show again. This serial marks the return…of the Black Guardian.

Photo credit, en.wikipedia.org

And before you ask: No, he is not being played by Ronnie Wood. He’s just got a raven on his head. Don’t ask me why.

I know that when we last saw the Black Guardian, he vowed revenge on the Doctor for denying him access to the Key to Time. But honestly, I never expected him to follow through on his threats. It seemed to me that an entity of as much power and omniscience as the Black Guardian–or the White Guardian for that matter–couldn’t have much of an attention span. As soon as he’d finished telling the Doctor how he would destroy him and so forth, I’d imagined the Black Guardian had gotten distracted over some interplanetary war or another and forgotten the Doctor completely.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t have been more wrong. The Black Guardian’s back, and more than that, he’s got a mortal accomplice right inside the Doctor’s own TARDIS.

Photo credit, http://www.youtube.com

That’s another thing that I definitely should mention, faithful viewer…I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing yet, but it’s definitely significant. The Doctor gets a new companion in this serial. His name is Turlough, and he’s one of the students at the public school where the Brigadier works…or at least, that’s his cover story. His real story is that he’s a Trion alien stranded on Earth–for reasons that have yet to be explained–and he’s got himself a berth on the TARDIS. The Doctor is happy to have him–in fact, he seems incredibly excited to have him around. Whether that’s because of his superior knowledge of alien tech or because the Doctor’s just pleased to have a guy on the TARDIS again remains to be seen. What is true is that the Black Guardian has recruited Turlough to kill the Doctor, and the Doctor has no idea.

Photo credit, tvtropes.org

Well, this is a new development. We’ve never had a companion with ulterior motives before…unless you count Clara in “Dark Water/Death in Heaven,” but that won’t happen for another thirty years yet. It’s a tense situation, faithful viewer…I can’t wait to see how it pans out.

Stay tuned ’til next time, faithful viewer, when the Doctor and his companions land on a hospital ship befouled with germs and corporate corruption in equal measure…

Snakedance

Alright, here we are again, faithful viewer! Continuing with our twentieth anniversary spectacular, let’s see what enemy from the past graces our screens this time. Here’s hoping it’s a good one.

When we join Our Heroes on the TARDIS, we learn that Tegan’s been having bad dreams. It seems she still hasn’t recovered from her encounter with the Mara back on Deva Loka. The Doctor, trying to draw the Mara’s influence out of her, find the cave that Tegan has been dreaming about, on the planet Manussa. However, while trying to cure Tegan, he accidentally brings the spirit of the Mara to life inside her. The Mara takes over Tegan’s body, just as before, and takes off for parts unknown.

Photo credit, http://www.warpedfactor.com

And now for the irony. While all this is happing, the people in the capitol city on Manussa are preparing for a festival that celebrates the banishment of the Mara from the planet. The Federator’s lazy son, Lon, is supposed to be presiding over the festivities and taking part in the ritual–known as the Snakedance–that commemorates the Mara’s banishment. Instead, poor Lon gets possessed by the Mara as well, and he and Tegan become the Mara’s puppets as it tries to manifest into a corporeal form once again. The Doctor, fortunately, has had experience fighting the Mara, but he is at a severe disadvantage this time. While he knows exactly what the Mara is capable of, nobody else on Manussa is willing to help him, because none of them believe that the Mara is real.

Photo credit, stagevu.com

I’ll be honest, faithful viewer, this serial was not nearly as good as “Kinda.” “Kinda” had the benefit of being totally unprecedented, not to mention unexpected by the viewers, while this serial feels like the unsuccessful sequel to a brilliant movie. It’s the “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey” of Doctor Who serials. A good idea, but probably unworthy of the follow-through.

Photo credit, http://www.youtube.com

Well, perhaps that’s a bit unfair. While it wasn’t very good as a sequel, on its own it was a pretty decent story. The creep-factor was definitely raised, and that’s something you need to do when you’re dealing with the Mara–you can’t ever allow yourself to become complacent with a villain that delicious. The shots of snake skulls on the shoulders of human bodies were inspired–worthy, I think, of a Neil Gaiman story. And Janet Fielding still rocks that evil-Tegan vibe, which made this one really fun to watch.

Photo credit, stagevu.com

Prince Lon was also fairly entertaining. Martin Clunes, the young man who played him, seems to have studied at the James Spader school of acting, and plays Lon as the most indolent brat who ever wore silk robes to a country fair. Another standout was Chela, a fresh-faced scholar who seems to be the only person on the entire planet willing to entertain the notion that the Doctor’s suspicions about the Mara may just be correct. And there was an interesting little interlude about a traditional headdress worn during the Snakedance. It’s known as the Six Faces of Delusion, but it’s only got five faces carved into it–the sixth face, as the Doctor points out, is the Face of Delusion, and is also the wearer’s own face. A clever moment, for sure…but why wouldn’t the Manussans have figured that out by now? Do they not have peer-reviewed research on their planet?

Really, what lets this serial down is the sets. It was clear that the designers were trying to up the ante as far as production value was concerned, but it didn’t quite work, unfortunately. The whole look of the thing never stopped seeming a bit flat.

Photo credit, http://www.dvdtalk.com

And before I sign off, I’d just like to say that the whole bit with the mystic the Doctor seeks out for help against the Mara was completely random and actually kind of dodgy. The mystic won’t simply tell the Doctor what to do to defeat the Mara–he makes the Doctor get bitten by a snake whose venom acts as a hallucinogenic. Once the Doctor starts tripping his head off, then the mystic starts rattling off a series of riddles that are hopefully intended to help the Doctor save Tegan and kill the Mara.

Photo credit, stuartreviewsstuff.wordpress.com

The Doctor on acid–honestly, not sure what to think about that.

All in all, I kind of wish this episode wasn’t about the Mara. The thing about the Mara is that it’s such a powerful enemy, it works best if you only face it once. Facing it time after time makes it seem a bit campy, honestly. Campier even that poor Michael Clunes’ Snakedance garb.

Photo credit, http://www.horrorchannel.co.uk

And with that, faithful viewer, I say good-bye until next time.

Stay tuned ’til next time, faithful viewer, when we say hello to two companions, one old and one brand-new…